Posted by: Johnold Strey | August 18, 2008

Top Ten Liturgical Insults

Another WELS pastor and I put this together a couple of years ago when we had nothing better to do (yeah, right!). So here are ten little lighthearted liturgical laughs (I always go for alliteration) for your reading pleasure today. Enjoy! 🙂

Top Ten Liturgical Insults

10. He’s a couple of liturgies short of a hymnal
9. His processions don’t make it all the way to the chancel
8. He says, “The Lord be with you” facing the altar
7. His hymnal is missing the “Justification” section
6. He’s a few canticles short of a liturgy
5. He’s the kind of guy who sings “Alleluia” in Lent
4. He thinks “Hawaiian shirt” is the liturgical color for festivals
3. You can lead him to the chancel, but you can’t make him absolve
2. He looks his best in a “Schuler” robe
1. His Creed is missing the Second Article

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Responses

  1. He thinks “Salvation Unto Us Has Come” has only six verses.

    By the way, what’s a “Schuler” robe?

  2. The “Schuler Robe” is a reference to Dr. Robert Schuller, of the “Hour of Power” TV ministry and “Crystal Cathedral”. It’s actually called the “Geneva Gown”, and is more of an academic garment worn by college professors and theologians than a sacramental vestment worn by a pastor or priest. It is more fitting of the Reformed emphasis on the preached Word over the power of sacramental rites in creating and sustaining faith.
    I’ve noticed that many WELS clergy still wear such robes instead of albs, chasubles, and other more “catholic” vestments. I know it’s still a reminder of WELS’ low-church pietist founders, but I still wonder why this is still so prevalent, given how strongly confessional and increasingly liturgical WELS has become.


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